• Home
  • |
  • Blog Archive
  • |
  • About Us
  • |
  • Webmail
  • |
  • Log In
  • |
  • Contact

  • How the Internet really started

    by rogerivy 20. October 2010 10:37

    Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here's the TRUE story ...Cool

    In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.


    And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had often been called Amazon Dot Com.


    And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"


    And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"


    And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."


    Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.


    But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business. But he was discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.


    And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS.


    And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.


    And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

    And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

    And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.


    And that is how it all began. Truly!

    Tags:

    Permalink | Comments (0)

    Different Strokes

    by Nigel Ivy 19. October 2010 09:08

    A priest, a penticostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

    They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challange would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment.

    They would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don't sprinkleQ I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!But thst bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle."

    "We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED him and BAPTISED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

    They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

    Tags: , ,

    Humour

    Permalink | Comments (0)

    Rianna's first animal - Impala Ewe

    by Nigel Ivy 25. September 2010 18:17

    Rianna shot her first animal today - a great impala ewe! Shot was about 80 meters with a .308.

    Tags: , , , ,

    Hunting

    Permalink | Comments (0)

    Red Hartebeest

    by Nigel Ivy 23. September 2010 12:33

    Shot this great Red Hartebeest Bull with a .308 rifle through the neck at 60 meters. The bull ran about 10 meters then dropped. Measurement upon skinning was 23" meeting minimum requirement for Rowland Ward.

    Tags: , , , ,

    Hunting

    Permalink | Comments (0)

    Ivys
    Community
    Support
    About
    Home Nigel Ivy Photography Leopard Business Solutions About Us
    Log in Allan Ivy Photography Contact Us
    Webmail Log in Ivy Safaris
    Stuart Thompson Photography
    Pippa Thompson Photography


    © www.ivys.org 2003 - 2011. All Rights Reserved. Designed by Leopard Business Solutions