• Home
  • |
  • Blog Archive
  • |
  • About Us
  • |
  • Webmail
  • |
  • Log In
  • |
  • Contact

  • Joke of the day: "Banned from Sainsburys"

    by Nigel Ivy 3. February 2011 15:42

    Yesterday I was at my local Sainsburys store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

    Better watch what you ask retired people.

    They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

    Tags: , , , , , ,

    Humour

    Permalink | Comments (0)



    Ivys
    Community
    Support
    About
    Home Nigel Ivy Photography Leopard Business Solutions About Us
    Log in Allan Ivy Photography Contact Us
    Webmail Log in Ivy Safaris
    Stuart Thompson Photography
    Pippa Thompson Photography


    © www.ivys.org 2003 - 2011. All Rights Reserved. Designed by Leopard Business Solutions